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L. Ayuningtyas, The Sunflower Field (Padang Bunga Matahari)

Di seberang sana:

padang bunga matahari.

Kuning, riang, beriak merayu.


Ragu melangkah ia.

Berdiri termangu

di bawah bayang-bayang ranting kayu.


Tangannya perlahan

membebat sayatan-sayatan pada tubuh yang meneteskan darah

satu demi satu.


Di seberang sana:

padang bunga matahari

tak lagi mampu menunggu

kini

mengelabu.


The Sunflower Field


On the other side:

the sunflower field.

Yellow, joyful, rippling invitingly.


Hesitated to step forward she is.

Standing dazed

under the shadow of tree branches.


Her hands are slowly

wrapping the gashes on her skin that

drip blood

one by one.


On the other side:

the sunflower field

is no longer able to wait

now

is turning gray.


L. Ayuningtyas

The Sunflower Field, 2018

Poetry (Originally in Indonesian with Accompanying English Translation)


I wrote this poem around two years ago, a month after the last session with my psychologist. Although the long sessions had concluded and I felt recovered from the trauma of intimate partner violence, it was still a difficult journey afterward. I believed that happiness would await. I knew it would be there if I stepped forward. However, my wounds held me back. And perhaps, the happiness would fade if I did not hurry to step forward to the sunflower field.


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